 | Santa and Banta were fixing a bomb in a car. |
| Santa joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening. Santa : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright. |
| Santa joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening. Santa : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright. |
| Sardar: For the past one week a girl is disturbing Me. I don't know how she got my no, she interrupts whenever I call someone and says "please recharge your card" |
| Man: Sardarji where were U born? Sardarji: Punjab. Man: Which part? Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body Is born in Punjab Yaar. |
| A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce. Judge asked: How'll U divide your kids, U have 3 children? Sardar replied: Ok! We'll apply NEXT YEAR |
| Postman: I Had To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This Packet Santa: why did U come so far. Instead U could Have posted it.... |
| A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except Santa. He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!" |
| Santa to his servant: Go and water the plants. Servant: It's already raining. Santa: So what take an umbrella and go. |
| Santa was riding on a horse. He jumped the red light & a cop whistles. Santa lifts the tail of horse & says: 'Le Karle Number Note' |
| While walking in the highlands Santa fell down a deep hole. |
| Santa was standing in sun on a hot sunny day. Banta asked: What are you doing? Santa: Drying sweat! |
| Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye. Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai. |
| Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatoes 5 days ago, he hasn't come back yet! Santa: Why don't u cook something else. |
| A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell. Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days. Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out. |
| Q: Why did Santa throw the butter out of the window? A: He wanted to see butterfly! |
| Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, aap papa ban gaye. Santa: Meri wife ko nahi bolna mein use surprise dunga! |
| Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door? A: Because it was an entrance exam. |
| Pappu while filling up a form: What should I write against mother tongue.? Santa: Very long.....! |
| Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller? Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl. |
| Banta ped pe chada to upar baithey Bandar ne poocha: Upar kyon aaya? |
| Nurse came out with the newborn kid, Santa rushed 2 her & after seeing the kid he shouted, PUTTAR hua PUTTAR. She slapped him: Leave my finger, u fool, It’s a gal! |
| Dress code 4 a party - BLACK TIES ONLY. Banta goes for the party & is surprised to see that the other guests are wearing SUITS also! |
| Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge. The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000. Santa: I think I'll take the money. |
| A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai? Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja... |
| Once Professor Santa asked a plumber to come to his college. You know why? Because he wanted to check from where the question paper is leaking. |
| Petrol ke rate badhne par Santa bola: "Menu koi farak nahin penda. Pehle bhi 100 ka bharwata tha ab bhi 100 ka bharwata hoon." |
| Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever- What comes first - the chicken or the egg? O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega! |
| Jeeto: Kal raat tum mujhe neend mein tumne mujhe gaaliyan di Santa: Tumhari galat fahami hai. Jeeto: Kaisi galatfahami? Santa: Yehi ki mein soya tha. |
| Santa sent a SMS to his pregnant wife. Couple of seconds later he received a report on his phone and he started to dance. The report said: 'Delivered' |
| An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet. |
| Santa went out to buy an Indian flag. The shop owner gave him the flag. Guess what did he ask next... Ismein aur colour dikhayiye. |
| Q: Why Santa is standing below the Tube light with an open mouth. A: Because Doctor has advised him: 'Aaj Light Khana hai!' |
| Santa suffering from constipation, sitting on toilet seat: Ooonh, oooonh, oohh.... nee aaja marjaniye main tenu khan ta ni laga. |
| Banta: J tu dasde ki is bag vich ki hai tan sare ande tere, j tu dasde kine ne tan 8 de 8 tere, te j tu dasde ki kidhe ne tan oh murgi v teri. Santa: Koi hint? |
| Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication. Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman |
| Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? " A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao." |
| American: In our country , marriage even takes place with email. Santa: In India, it is only with a female. |
| Sardar proposed a Girl...... Girl said Im 1yr elder to you...... Sardar said Oye No Problem Soniye, Ill marry you NEXT YEAR. |
| Banta: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua? Santa: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai. |
| Accident took place. Crowd gathered. Sardar reporter couldnt get in. Clever Santa Singh cried Mera bapu. Crowd made way 4him bt it was a donkeys accident. |
| Wat frustrates a SARDAR? When his wife delivers twins & he cant find the father of the second child. |
| It was Santa's weding aniversary. Preeto : Shall v hav Tandoori chicken to celebrate? Santa:y punish da poor chicken for da mistake v hav made |
| Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto, Banta asks: Y r u removin a wheel from ur auto? Santa: Can't u read 'Parking for two wheelers only' |
| Sharaabi Santa knocks the door of his house. His wife opens the door. Santa asks: Who r u? Wife: How dare u forget ur wife? Santa: Nasha har gam ko bhula deta hai |
| Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change the name from NASA to SATYANASA |
| Ek baar Santa Gangubai ke ghar jaata hai aur darwaza knock karta hai. Gangubai: Kaun ? Santa: Main ! Gangubai: Main kaun? Santa: Tu Gangubai |
| At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I hv lst my hand, oh! Santa: Control urself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying? |
| In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run? Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. .... Inteviewer shouts: Stop it. Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup... |
| Captain of Military: Naujawanon aage bado Santa aage nahin bada Captain: Tum aage kyun nahin bade? Santa: Apne kaha 9 jawanon aage bado, mein 10ve number pe tha |
| Santa apni khoobsurat Bibi k saath car mein baitha. Driver ne sheesha set kiya. Santa gusse mein bola, meri bibi ko dekhkta hai, piche baith, car mein chalaoonga! |
| Tourist: Whose skeleton is that? Santa: Tipu's skeleton. Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it? Santa: That was Tipu's skeleton when he was child |
| Santa: Agar tumhe kuch ho gaya to mein Pagal ho jaaunga. Jeeto: Doosri shaadi to nahin karogey? Santa: Pagal ka kya hai, kuch bhi kar sakta hai |
| Santa: mai tere mobile se apni gf ko sms bheju dekhte hain kya kehti hai? Banta: No, jo usne handwriting pachan li fer? |
| Sardar in Mysore palace, Tourist guide- sir PLz don sit there, it is Tippu Sultan's chair Sardar- oye don't worry yaar i will get up when he comes |
| Agent: What is your father's name in english? Santa: Beautiful red underwear Agent: R u joking? Santa: No, my father's name is Sunder Lal Chadda |
| SARDAR: Aaj mein ne paani ko ullu banaya 2ND SARDAR: wo kaise? 1ST SARDAR: aaj maine nahane k liye paani garm kiya aur thande se naha liya. |
| Santa apni girl friend ko I luv you kehta hai aur gir jata hai. Girl: Ye kya kar rahe ho? Santa: I'm falling in love. |
| Santa: Raat film main ek chudail kabhi mere aage, khabhi mere peechhe ghoom rahi thi... Jeeto: Koun si film thi ? Santa: Apni shaadi ki movie thi! |
| Lady Doc: Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar auraton ko kyon ghoorte ho? Santa: Ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai: Auraton ko dekhne ka samay 9am-11am |
| Lady Doc: Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar auraton ko kyon ghoorte ho? |
| Napoleon: There is no such word as 'Impossible' in my dictionary. Santa: To dictionary dekh kar kharidni thi...! |